“It’s the day of the bride” is a phrase that should be taken out. Of course, there are always exceptions (some bride and groom just prefer not to step in), but most couples now choose to plan their big day together. Hooray for this long overdue redefinition of gender norms, especially at a time when we are also celebrating LGBTQIA + marriage.
With this in mind, it’s also important to recognize that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. No human is amazing at all (if that was the case, we would all go through Beyoncé). So, assigning tasks based on skills is a necessary first step in the wedding planning process.
Easier said than done, right? Not necessarily, at least according to Jennifer Price of Event Shoppe Chicago. “Any good marriage is one that ensures that the couple’s love story is told through the details of the marriage. It is normal for the wedding to be planned by both parties, ”she said. “It happens when you plan together and no one is overwhelmed with tasks. ”
To divide and conquer every aspect of your event, Price shares five quick tips that will save you headaches, time, and money.
Know your strengths
It can be difficult to recognize (or even accept) our weaknesses, especially in a very stressful scenario like planning a wedding. But, having an open and honest conversation with yourself and your abilities is the first thing that must happen before you deplete any energy or resources.
“Can you admit that you are a great thinker and that you are not very detailed? Are you self-aware enough to say I’m not that organized and a ‘doer’, ”Price asks. “These things help when the time comes to divide the tasks of marriage. on a team gets a championship ring just like both sides of the wedding couple get an amazing wedding day.
Ask yourself and your partner to make a list of the things you’re good at and separate the tasks from there. The process isn’t just necessary, it’s a fun way to learn even more about each other as you plan meaningful moments in your new life together.
Choose one of the three best
Prioritization is the key. There are many elements, traditions and preferences that go into a successful marriage. Restricting your focus is essential to be on the same page on what matters most.
“We tell our couples to sit down and choose three things that are important to both of you before starting the wedding planning process,” Price said. “This ‘big three’ helps with so many things like budget and focus, but it also helps with the division of labor. If one partner chooses the cake, the music, and the food, and the other partner chooses the decor, ceremony, and favors, then you each have their job and know what to focus on.
If there is any overlap, Price recommends these are the categories that couples can enjoy planning together and don’t “feel like a chore.” Just make sure the responsibilities are balanced to avoid any future hassles.
Hire a wedding planner
Wedding planners are industry experts who can make things much easier and more organized, allowing you to focus only on what excites you or what you think requires your involvement.
“There can be things that couples hate to do, like budgeting or managing the RSVP list,” Price explains, “And often times people delay or procrastinate on tasks they don’t enjoy.”
“Wedding planning is not a place to do this. Time will pass, days will pass and the wedding day will be here before you know it. Don’t procrastinate. Just reassign and outsource to your wedding planner, ”she adds.
Don’t rule out hiring a wedding planner because you don’t think you can afford it. Wedding planning packages can also be tailored to meet different budgets. While some couples may go for a full service with all the features, you can work with a planner to adjust and revise based on your own financial situation and overall goals.
DIY weddings will obviously require another level of time and effort. Couples should decide in advance whether or not they want these personalized touches incorporated into their decor.
“This old question [of whether not to DIY] is the one I respond to daily with couples, ”reveals Price. “A lot of times it depends on your skills. It comes down to knowing your strengths.
If you are naturally an artistic person and enjoy tasks such as crafts, flower arranging, or ceramics, you might appreciate a more hands-on creative process. If this is something that thrills you and your partner, then it is absolutely in your best interests to avoid doing anything and outsourcing these projects or buying rentals at all costs.
Ask for help
So many couples feel pressured to take on all the responsibilities when in fact they have a support system through friends and family who are likely ready to lend a helping hand. In fact, you are spending the money to make this experience memorable not only for you as a couple, but also for the people you love. The least they can do is give back beyond what’s on your registry.
“If as a couple there’s a task you don’t enjoy and you have a special family or friend who’s really good at it, now is a great time to call in for backup,” Price advises. “Have a small, trusted group that you can assign to help you with your tasks and lighten your load and they will feel honored to help you plan for this special day. ”
It comes with a caveat, however. “Please note that this is only applicable if it will not add stress to your wedding planning process,” Price warns.
If a in-laws, for example, want to fit beyond the basics and basically plan the entire wedding, it’s probably not in your best interest to include them in the decision-making or preparation process.
A final note
Ultimately, your ceremony and reception is a reflection of you, your partner, and your love affair. “When a person plans on their own, they are overwhelmed and it looks like they are getting married,” Price explains. “Plan a wedding that tells your whole story. ”
Hopefully after following the tips above and treating the tasks the same, this story will end happily forever.